Eky's 2Cents

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Can We Still Be Friends???




 Hey Fellas,

My friend Boma is at it again.He sure loves the controversies,some of you would say. I however,think he is spot on; because, controversy is a part of our daily lives. Enjoy the piece and let us hear your thoughts, okay? 


Its Steve again! Naomi tells Ifeanyi. "Steve? What does that loser want?" Ifeanyi exclaims. He said he he just wants to be friends. Naomi says. I've stopped taking his calls and i have deleted him from BBM but he wont just let me be. He broke up the relationship and now he says he just wants to be friends. Too bad he can't eat his cake and have it.



Yeah! The all familiar scenario of the ex wanting to be just friends. In most cases, the ex who wants to be friends is the guilty party. He/she did the breaking up and this desire to stay friends is often driven by guilt and a selfish desire. Hey! You said you didn't want the relationship anymore, right? So let the other party be. It isn't the easiest transition to make, one day you are intimate and the next you want to see the person as a mere friend. The human emotions are not so easy to turn on and just turn off for most people, nobody is a light switch. So really, how do you handle being friends with your ex? Is there any such thing? Do you server all ties with the person? Its quite a hard decision.



Trust me, I've been in the shoes of the ex that still wants to be friends and also on the receiving end of not wanting to be friends with my ex. If you want to be friends with you ex, first make sure you have a good, warm jacket or a good insulator of some sort cos you are sure to get a cold reception, do not think the person may be so thrilled to hear your voice no matter how much you thought he/she was in love but even that may not be enough. The best thing to do is allow the person time to heal. Time heals all wounds. So, do not try to reach this person during the initial stages of the break up. Give a window for the person to get you out of their heads. For some it may take a while, for some it may not be long. It all depends on the individual.




The singular reason for this is like I said before, its difficult making the transition from intimate to just friends. The other person cant see you as a friend just yet, so don't complicate matters. He/she is trying to move on with you in their face is not an easy feat. Stay clear for a long time, if you do reach out and he/she has recovered and still wants to be friends without you necessarily pushing for it, its fine. If not just back off! Simple. Nothing wrong with quitting a relationship that isn't working but know there are consequences you may have to live with. So, is it possible to be friends? Yes, it is. This is conditional, one party has to totally forgive and look past the pains.

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