PIDGIN; Tory For Una (Part 2)


Which way now? Happy Saturday efribody. Hope you say you full ground like Hippopo. I hail oh! I know say una think say me I don forget una, but no be so. Na life; in short na matter.
That our tory, na today we go knack am finish; Danny don dey here, ready for una. We go see when una read finish.


STORY SO FAR........

Election Day finally cum three months later and we win wit landslide victory. Enokela kip to im words to make me im Chief Operating Officer if he win. Now I don siddon ontop dis big company. I don turn big boi. I don arrive. I fit afford to live d life wen I don dey dream of all dese years.

My waka cum change instanta. Now I dey waka lyk big man, I dey yarn and eat lyk one of dem. Now I get class and style. Now I lyk mysef mor mor. All the girls don comot from nowhere lyk ants wen pack full for anthill. All of a sudden, my name don dey sound like honey for deir lips.

‘Tohnny, Toooni! Oh! Towhni!’

Tonyboy, na you be the man. Evri babe get deir own way wen dem take dey call my name. Na the life be dis mehn! Any person wen say money no fit buy happiness no know where dem dey buy am or no just get am. Simple! Now I get trailer-loads of happiness. Happiness na perfume o. Oh! La la!


All tru the second leg of my flight from Doha to New York, I no fit sleep, even though say I tire die. Thoughts just dey flash thru my thick skull lyk as gladiator take dey strike im opponent. See me lie down for here, as I spread for my seat with a very beautiful hostess at my side. For New York, even more dey wait for me. Enokela bizness partners dey airport to receive me wit a customized limousine. Na so I cum feel lyk king but even mor dey wait for me.

As the limo stop in front of Waldorf Astoria, the door just fling open and I step out enter a green carpet welkom. The Prince of Nigeria don arrive. I just dey humbled. This na the Astoria wen I watch for COMING TO AMERICA and SCENT OF A WOMAN, two of my best films of all time.

Na me wan sleep for here so? I sure say the sleep go cum dis nite? As I take the first step enta my luxurious suite, I cum appreciate all the mor wetin e be to get moni. Money gud o!

Na den I reach for a bottle of scotch from the cellar. I too lyk drink sef! Dem carri shack take do me? Na dat tym the reality nack me:

- I go out go drink yesterday nite wit some of my paddies, Enokela join.

- I drink plenty bottles of Harp.

- I crash for ground as soon as I reach my self-contain apartment for Karmo (Ghetto for Abuja).

- I crash for nine strait hours.

- I wake up dey sweat lyk person wen go tiff bcos lite been no dey all thru the night – NEPA take light.

- Evritin na dream.

- I no get job right now but I beta pass Enokela sef.

- I neva enta aeroplane for my life.

- I no even get girlfriend.

- The government don mark our ghetto for demolition in a few days tym.

- I dey leave Abuja next week. 


Laff don take me baff for here wey I dey? Country people, how una see am? Me I bow for Danny oh, im three much sef. Make una halla am for  here  and here . We dey wait una contribution for under, na cooperation make rice full pot oh!!!!!


Who is this guy? I still haven't recovered from an intense bout of laughter. The tori get english version? I go like read am o! The guy writes real good.

Sweety, you dey break d rules o! For this corner, na Pidgin only. We forgive u sha, cos I know say u be fine girl. Anyway, Danny talk say the English version go soon dey available as na part of him novel. Just dey follow us and I go personally tell u when e show. No find trouble oh!

Abeg Danny Boy no crack my bellyee oo no be ribsu go crack. Hahaha yeyeyeye. Atlest d bobo no get money he suppose dream as a rich man nah? ? Like I talk b4 God dey nah poor man pray oooo. Oboy Danny u too much.. I dey wait 4 urself next line ooo

Okay Aunty Jenny. Me I dey jealoux oh. So na only for pidgin corner we go dey see you? Hmmm, no mind me. I throway salute jare.