Tolulope Odeyemi
The month of March is an interesting one for everyone, especially for women all over the world. It is a month dedicated to mothers, wives and sisters and I have seen many feminists tear to the street to canvass equal rights with their male counterparts. Many of these activists are even ready to burn their bras and grab the men’s pants and ‘take over the world’ and totally relegate men to the background.
Day after day, there is a war that wages stronger than that of the Middle East, it is a battle of the sexes; women are no longer contented with been left in the kitchen; they want to be at the forefront, they want to lead men to the ‘promised land’, they are ready in all ways to take over the world.
During this month, I have heard about and read various articles written in advocacy for female liberation, which to a point I greatly support. I am totally for the girl-child education and the fight against female oppression including abuse of any kind, but what I won’t ever subscribe to is this present wave of male suppression by women. However, there are some hardcore truths about womanhood that will always be, no matter how hard we try to subjugate them.
Late last year, I was privileged to attend my first art exhibition in Lagos with a friend; it was of works by Victor Ehikhamenor who brilliantly used the concept of time to depict different events and stages of the human life. His artistic use of different brands of wristwatches brought into sharp relief the fact that humanity is bound by time. In all the artworks displayed, there was one that reminded me of my distinction as a woman, this particular piece boldly differentiated the two genders in a lot of ways.
This artwork shows a female figure beautifully curved, however, what stopped people in their tracks when they roam to the piece is the ticking clock placed at the reproductive area of the painting. I remembered arguing with a friend about the meaning of the artwork, and as the debate got heated, others joined in. The conclusion we all drew afterwards was that “females are more bounded by time; whether she accepts it or not. Women do not have all the time in the world as their eggs come with an expiration date.
The adage about making hay while the sun shines aptly apply to us women; following my view, I believe that there is a perfect time to marry and have children, a time when the eggs will voluntarily fall, not coerced medically. It seems that since the days of old, there have been more women than men and it still seems like that in Nigeria today. I have witnessed the number of women increase compared to that of men, and this in a way made it quite impossible for women to meet the deadline of marriage before a certain age.
Thanks to menopause that is daily clamping down on fertility, more women than ever, are having a difficult time in meeting that ‘knight in shining armour’. And even if there are men, we all know that it is not just about any man on the street , but the ‘right man’ that will appreciate our femininity. This search, like I have seen in Nigeria, has led many women to spiritualists, it has made more females to solely concentrate on deep meditations and prayers. My take on that is to implore these waiting women to keep at it, for it works and please cultivate good character to make perfection of it.
My views are however challenged when I discussed the issue of time and women with my friends, they refuted the basis of my opinion calling it old-fashioned , one said “men and women are the same , why should one gender be forced to meet the marriage deadline while the other is left to sow the wild oats?” Another said “ it is my power to get married or not to, even if it is at 40 years”.
Quite alarmed by what I heard, I was left wondering “when is the perfect time for a woman to get married?”