Eky's 2Cents

Friday, September 06, 2013

Re; DEAR BETTER HALF- By Ekenedilichukwu Shirley Onwumeh

Hi my loves. Happy TGIF. A friend sent me a dear spouse letter and in typical Eky fashion, I wrote my own version. Its funny but has some truths and some, well regular-girl mentality stuff. Happy reading!!!




                                                                                   
                     

My dear other half, 

I begin by addressing you with your proper title. There may be many better halves out there; there is only one other half for me- YOU. I am glad to have this conversation with you. It sets the tone for a wonderful lifetime ahead of us: we can refer to this conversation as our own styled pre-nuptial agreement. It's our own style because it has nothing to do with money (please note, that I will take your money though: it's mine by right, or so they tell us these days). 


I will strive to achieve up to 80% of what you want; on the condition that you try to do same. Do remember that what goes for the goose, goes for the gander. Its good I won't be sharing you with anyone, as I have no intentions of making you share me with anyone. Appreciate God's work all you want, its allowed. Just don't ask me what the scowl on my face is for when you do. And chin up/take it in your stride when I refer to some other guy as 'eye candy'.
 

I do not have a problem with little or no make-up: I quite like the 'au-naturel' look myself. I'd also like you to look fit and trim. You maybe a 'beer-holder', but you don't have to look the part. I would love to have a husband even David Beckham or Mark Wahlberg would be envious of.
 

My mother raised me to appreciate the values of neatness. Of course, she was a stay-at-home mom; so with work and all, I might not do it quite like her. Your offer to help is taken note of and appreciated. I thank you in advance. Having a help is what we'll both have to decide on: for or against. But am sure we can adjust accordingly. I am particularly happy about you taking your laundry from the list of my chores. If you can add mine to yours, that will be wonderful too.
 

I would love the occasional treat and surprise from you. Long walks on deserted streets, late-night movies, a trip to the beach, where we'll run on the sand barefoot. I know I'm sometimes with my head in the clouds, hope you'll indulge me every once in a while. It will be required that you watch a few NOLLYWOOD movies: at least, the new breed they are producing these days are good. Just as I will not forget your birthday, Valentine's day and our anniversary, it will be UNFORGIVABLE if you do. Don't worry, I won't be one of those women who expect a car and buy you a dozen socks and boxers. Those are regular day-to-day gifts. Again, I'm a firm believer of 'our alone time' where no one will intrude on us. So I assume we won't have challenges on settling the matter of the extended family coming between us.
 

Luckily, I am as much of a sports/football enthusiast as you, though my football love is Liverpool FC. You are permitted freely to go and hangout with the boys during games. I understand how passionate it is to watch 'The Beautiful Game' with your cronies. Most likely, I'll hangout with mine too (when we aren't watching together). You could also bring the game-time home. I don't mind; I'd gladly serve the 'asun'/pepper soup and cold bottles of 'whatever' that go with such games. Don't be upset if I don't make dinner on a day Liverpool looses to Arsenal.
 

About tattoos and wearing skimpy dresses. I won't be giving up anything by tattoos, as I also believe an inscription on a Ferrarri takes away from its beauty: rather than adds to. I will gladly wear only bum-shorts in the house, or G-strings if you like. But I'd like to crave your permission to wear my shorts anytime I please. I mean decent ones of course (never fear; the bum ones we shall save for you and me). I have always been a tomboy (as you very well know); and those are my most comfortable clothes.
 

I thank God you are Christian. I would love for us to pray together; you know what they say about a family that prays together. You will always have my support and prayers in everything. As for the daddy-in-the-church matter, I choose to reserve my comments for now (in view of recent happenings). We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
 

I did say I would support you in everything: this includes in the family finances. But you must pull your weight. Remember that what's yours is mine and vice versa (in almost everything). We should be able to take a trip every summer; even if its only Ghana (am I not considerate?). And for the record, I would love to drive a Mercedes G-wagon. However, whatever you get me is fine. Am learning to compromise.
 

One final question. Will you let me drive us in your beautiful Range Rover Sport to church sometimes?
I remain yours forever, 

@EkyShirley

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