Eky's 2Cents

Friday, September 27, 2013

Frivolous Friday Question: Should You Date Your Friend's Ex???

It's a Frivolous Friday today, isn't it? It's raining cats and dogs and as usual, Eky's mind is adrift. How are you all? I trust you have had a wonderful week and are ready to party this weekend. I began my partying during the week though (grins).
Unto the frivolity of today. Should you date your friend's ex?
There is a school of thought which believes that a friend's ex, no matter how long ago, is
an 'UNTOUCHABLE': there is a kind of unwritten code that makes it so to these ones. There is another school which believes that its okay to date a friend's ex: so long as you aren't the reason for their break-up.

Whichever school you belong to, one thing can not be denied. It is a real and existing problem. Picture this; your girlfriend Boma in your opinion was in a relationship with a very great guy and you never hesitated to let her know just how lucky she was: while thinking to yourself, "Why can't I meet someone like him?". Then after a while, your friend breaks up with him, for reasons that have nothing to do with you. She has even moved on to another guy. The next logical question is, 'Can I date him?'

Scenario 2; John's girl Rita is the perfect specimen of womanhood; you keep telling John 'Dude, you don't know how good you've got it. Has she got a sister like her?'. And you guys get along like a house on fire. You travel out of town for work and meet her some months later. John broke up with her and is seeing someone else. You both, or at the very least 'you' are attracted to her. What do you do?

In all sincerity, dating your friend's ex is not a taboo: even though it can be very, very awkward. I say this because, it might be hard for you all to hang out like you would usually with a different girl/boy friend. Its not a taboo for one simple fact; we DO NOT OWN one another. The promises made in that relationship have been broken and the ties, severed. So if handled properly and with maturity, it is possible that it can happen and the friendship will survive it.

Please note that the key word is MATURITY. The exes  have to learn to get along in as civil a manner as possible. No snide comments, rude innuendos, muttering under the breathe, etc. You do realize of course, that this might be an outright IMPOSSIBILITY where the jilted party is still hurting and considers the ex the love of his/her life, right?
Still want to take a chance on dating the friend's ex? Good luck with that and let me know how it turns out for you, okay? If you disagree with me, can you please let me know your views in the comments box?

Have a super, duper Friday and weekend. Hugs!!!

6 comments:

  1. Nice piece..though most ladies wld severe their friendships based on their feelings for d ex..

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    1. True. Most times the emotions are a tad bitter and so better not to have them in your face

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  2. Seriously? Dating a friend's ex is a big NO! No! It puts you in an awkward position with your friend.

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    1. My twinnie does feel strongly about this one. It would actually. However, sometimes some people that are meant for each other will overcome all odds. Just saying...

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  3. as long as i'm in love...it don't matter if he's ma friend's ex'..call me selfish buh ma happiness counts!

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  4. I really don't see the big deal I feel you can date who ever you want regardless of who they have dated in the past why deny yourself the pleasure of finding out if this is who you are meant to be with. As you said Maturity is key in handling any issues with your friend. Nice one eky

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