More often than not, the Friendzone has been treated as the exclusive preserve of the guys; in most conversations where it’s discussed, you see a lot of descriptions where the man is on the receiving end of it. I recently came across an article that was titled “How not be caught in the Friendzone; A brother’s guide”. It was a hilarious and interesting read, I might add.
Well, here’s news for you. Girls get friendzoned about as much as the guys do. I am almost certain that every young woman my age, with a certain amount of exposure, has at least one tale of a guy whom she was ‘loving up on’ or in love with who saw her as a best bud; with whom he could hang out and do all those things he could do with his guy buddies and not get judged by her for it. I certainly have mine. A very good friend of mine who I had been crushing on for a while, but he was in a relationship with someone else. When the relationship ended, he turned to me for solace (and in my young and naive mind, here was the opportunity to show him all he had been missing). Long story short? It wasn’t too long after that he called me to thank me for helping him keep his sanity. More importantly, he told me there was someone new and was asking my advice on how best to go about getting her. Needless to say, I kept my distance from my friend for a while….
Whether girl or guy, being friendzoned has got to hurt; especially when you see your ‘friend’ going through the same vicious cycle over and over again and you have to be the shoulder they lean on every single time. It is particularly painful when they can’t see what is right under their noses (in your opinion). The pain is greatest when they discover they loved you all along but it is too late because one of the parties has moved on. In your head, you’re like ‘we could have had the world together; but it’s too late’.
#RandomThought; we could save ourselves this heartache by speaking up. The best place to hide they say, is in plain sight; thus that grand love of your life may need some prodding to see what’s in front of them. Who knows, you might go on to have the kind of love songs are made of. Case in point, BoyzIIMen’s 'I Finally Know'.
Have a super duper week my loves.
1 comments:
LOL...interesting article. Sorry about your 'Friend-zoning'; we've all been there before...LOL.
In ideal situations where the guy is essentially mature, speaking up would be a great idea. But you know in Naija, there is a general notion that guys do not appreciate ladies who speak up first; they regard them as desperate, if not worthless, though I also know there must be exceptional cases. So, rather than talking, I think it'll be best to show the 'green light' which I know a lot of guys easily understand and if the guy is too blind to recognize it, well, too bad...if he doesn't recognize a 'green light' when he sees it, chances are he will also be oblivious of your moods and moments if eventually you date him. I rest my case.