"If I go to work in a mini-skirt
Am I giving you the right to flirt
I won't compromise my point of view
Kai. Deborah Cox lyrics are just swimming out of my mouth, in tune with the radio of their own volition. Not that I am complaining; it is either sing along with the radio, watch some sappy series/re-watch "Game of Thrones", or sink back into my thoughts on my man dilemma.
Yes, I said man dilemma. Now before you go off on a tangent, Mide does not hit me, or abuse me in any way. I work because I love my job/career; as I am never denied any material comfort whatsoever (not even the supposedly ridiculous ones; feel free to let your imagination run wild on ridiculous). I could be a stay-at-home wife and not feel it since my darling husband provides for me in every way, except one. And in answer to your next question, yes, I am absolutely in love with my husband, Mide. Why then am I having a seemingly "larger-than-life" problem?
Mide Macauley has been my lover for 7 years and husband for over 5 of those 7 years. He's genuinely a good man; none of that "Yoruba demon" with this man... I'm a secure mother of one; we have an amazing home and friendship. He's even the feminist of us both and has helped me to keep developing myself, both along career and human lines. We've had our rocky moments too and have learnt to talk through situations as they arise.
In view of the above, I must seem like the most inconsiderate and selfish person ever. Right? Wrong. See, in all my years of togetherness with MM, I've never had an orgasm. Sex is always a 3 minute exercise. And for someone who enjoys penetrative action, foreplay just winds me up and leaves me hanging. Sigh... MM has tried, he's quite the creative one, but his efforts just leave me high and dry. Many-a-cold-shower can only go so far.
Phew!!! I actually wrote that down. After all the battling with myself, I have been able to put it in black and white. Diary mine, you'll not understand why this is such a huge relief. If you were not raised like I was, in a typical, Nnewi-Catholic home with parents whose very thought invoked the fear of hell fire eh, you'll have no inclination as to what relief I feel. Mba, ima nwota...
Now, don't think I want to step out on the man; tufiakwa! Chineke ekwe kwala ih'ojo. Am just thinking of creative ways to solve my problem. I think I'll search online for all those sex toys people; surely someone will have a vibrator that can sort me out; before "konji egbuom". Ngwa, that settles it. I'll also put this on Mide's sideboard; so he'll get with the programme. With his kinky, 60 year old mind, he'll probably devise a means to participate sef.